PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN AT THE GRATING EVEN IF IT SOUNDS LIKE MY VOICE WANKING OFF. I am not home.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

*holds sides, laughing* Oh, gosh, SO FUNNY!

I think I found you through frulie, but it might've been curi_oh. I really ought to pay more attention to where I'm lurking. Anyway, very amusing story. Thanks for the read!