"Draco, could-could you…" He rose without a word and took my hand, led me down the hall to our bedroom. He sat against the headboard, folding his long legs beneath him and pulled me gently against his body. Tugged the blanket up over us. I was still in my dress shirt, untucked from my trousers. I laid my head just over his breastbone and tried to breathe normally.
That right there is where my heart started to hurt. God, it's just. Scared and huddled up together on the bed.
...and he suddenly gave a low cry and pulled backward, standing, moving away from the bed. His clothing was rumpled and his eyes were glimmering with barely contained tears. "I'm… going to sleep on the couch." I let him go in rigid silence and did not move until he shut the bedroom door behind him. Then I collapsed on the bed, feeling the warmth of his body drifting away under my fingertips, and cried.
Oh GOD Rerun. This broke me. Because Draco is so...afraid/guilty/wanting/needing. And then the dream, and god, I love the detail there, what this Jason looks like in Harry's mind. And then Draco is gone when he leaves, and I know that somewhere deep down inside he probably wanted to just hide there with Harry forever, but because he's Draco, he got up and left, and all alone.
I'd gotten my results two days ago, but they did nothing to ease me because he sat there, face carefully blank after the initial relief had faded, and asked after his. I told him the doctors needed another two days.
And there is the kick in the gut. It's so good, SO GOOD, and so real and important.
His body shuddered violently. At first I thought it was laughter, but his face crumpled. He slid down the door to the floor, his thin frame shaking with sobs, and buried his face in his hands. And the world feel away beneath my feet.
Oh jesus woman...this. Ouch. Because it's Draco, and he doesn't fall apart like that, not in front of people, and anything that could make him has got to be something terrifying. I love this, because it is SO HIM. He thinks he's alone, thinks Harry is safe at work, and that he has a moment to just let go of it all, where he doesn't have to make himself stay strong, doesn't have to hide. But this time, this time Harry finally gets to see. And the next bit...oh my poor aching heart.
"Oh, god, Harry, I didn't know you would be here. I walked all the way from the doctor's not feeling anything. You were supposed to be at work, and I… I got inside and smelled our home, and-and you, and I couldn't… hold it back anymore. But I'm not crying, really, it's relief, Harry. I'm alright, I promise you, I swear. I didn't mean to scare you, I thought you weren't home…"
YES. Just yes. That's Draco on the inside.
" It wasn't until I opened the front door that I realized that they weren't saying that I was negative, they were saying I was the luckiest bastard alive because I could touch you again, I could kiss you again. I could make love to you, and… not hurt you. And I had to… I just collapsed…"
Quite possibly one of my favorite lines of yours...because the feeling there. Because of just how much Harry means to him, how much of his sight Harry takes up, how much of Draco's world revolves around him.
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"Draco, could-could you…"
He rose without a word and took my hand, led me down the hall to our bedroom. He sat against the headboard, folding his long legs beneath him and pulled me gently against his body. Tugged the blanket up over us. I was still in my dress shirt, untucked from my trousers. I laid my head just over his breastbone and tried to breathe normally.
That right there is where my heart started to hurt. God, it's just. Scared and huddled up together on the bed.
...and he suddenly gave a low cry and pulled backward, standing, moving away from the bed. His clothing was rumpled and his eyes were glimmering with barely contained tears.
"I'm… going to sleep on the couch."
I let him go in rigid silence and did not move until he shut the bedroom door behind him. Then I collapsed on the bed, feeling the warmth of his body drifting away under my fingertips, and cried.
Oh GOD Rerun. This broke me. Because Draco is so...afraid/guilty/wanting/needing. And then the dream, and god, I love the detail there, what this Jason looks like in Harry's mind. And then Draco is gone when he leaves, and I know that somewhere deep down inside he probably wanted to just hide there with Harry forever, but because he's Draco, he got up and left, and all alone.
I'd gotten my results two days ago, but they did nothing to ease me because he sat there, face carefully blank after the initial relief had faded, and asked after his. I told him the doctors needed another two days.
And there is the kick in the gut. It's so good, SO GOOD, and so real and important.
His body shuddered violently. At first I thought it was laughter, but his face crumpled. He slid down the door to the floor, his thin frame shaking with sobs, and buried his face in his hands.
And the world feel away beneath my feet.
Oh jesus woman...this. Ouch. Because it's Draco, and he doesn't fall apart like that, not in front of people, and anything that could make him has got to be something terrifying. I love this, because it is SO HIM. He thinks he's alone, thinks Harry is safe at work, and that he has a moment to just let go of it all, where he doesn't have to make himself stay strong, doesn't have to hide. But this time, this time Harry finally gets to see. And the next bit...oh my poor aching heart.
"Oh, god, Harry, I didn't know you would be here. I walked all the way from the doctor's not feeling anything. You were supposed to be at work, and I… I got inside and smelled our home, and-and you, and I couldn't… hold it back anymore. But I'm not crying, really, it's relief, Harry. I'm alright, I promise you, I swear. I didn't mean to scare you, I thought you weren't home…"
YES. Just yes. That's Draco on the inside.
" It wasn't until I opened the front door that I realized that they weren't saying that I was negative, they were saying I was the luckiest bastard alive because I could touch you again, I could kiss you again. I could make love to you, and… not hurt you. And I had to… I just collapsed…"
Quite possibly one of my favorite lines of yours...because the feeling there. Because of just how much Harry means to him, how much of his sight Harry takes up, how much of Draco's world revolves around him.