Puzzle pieces were clicking home, behaviors taking on a new flavor Nice attention to detail. You’ve been applying the puzzle metaphor consistently and not forgetting it. I also like the way “flavour” gives the line a real visceral sensibility.
The Slytherin was mesmerizing. Gooooooal! The severity, the power of the turning point is beautifully highlighted.
The other boy snorted and rubbed his eyes with four fingers. "Says the boy who is always alone...Face it, Potter, you're alone. No matter how many people are around you, you're not a part of it. They pretend you are, but really they're all just curious to see what you're going to end up doing.” Spot on! Draco the Prat has finally become Draco the Perceptive. These two are so similar in so many of the fundamental things. Glad that Harry finally hears it.
Are you going to save them all? Or maybe die in a flaming inferno? Wouldn't that be dramatic.” Though, not, of course, that Draco doesn’t have a bit of snarkiness left in him! :)
"I love you." Ah...the proclamation. You do handle it with power and with the mysteries Dumbledore alludes to both in your story and in canon. For my part, I probably would have placed it later in the story, but that’s not to say that it doesn’t work here, just that I’m a pushy reader! ;)
Harry moved his hand to touch Malfoy's cheek. I love how that burning finger trail down Harry’s cheek has almost taken on the weight of the proffered hand from first year in this story. And as much as the old covenant was about obedience, order, law and the new covenant about love, trust, respect...how fitting that your images should play a similar role to those Biblical images in this story.
something else entirely, darker and more deep-rooted Your theme carries through. To a Malfoy, this dependence, this love, let alone love for the boy who nearly killed Voldemort, would be a failure. And Draco is at war with himself, his own heart, soul, mind and body at war, each with the other, forming uneasy and rapidly shifting alliances every minute of every day.
Another gorgeous, powerful chapter. Thank you.
And now for something completely different...You like Lisa Germano!? ...Geek the Girl is one of my favourite albums!
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Date: 2005-01-26 07:54 pm (UTC)From:Nice attention to detail. You’ve been applying the puzzle metaphor consistently and not forgetting it. I also like the way “flavour” gives the line a real visceral sensibility.
The Slytherin was mesmerizing.
Gooooooal! The severity, the power of the turning point is beautifully highlighted.
The other boy snorted and rubbed his eyes with four fingers. "Says the boy who is always alone...Face it, Potter, you're alone. No matter how many people are around you, you're not a part of it. They pretend you are, but really they're all just curious to see what you're going to end up doing.”
Spot on! Draco the Prat has finally become Draco the Perceptive. These two are so similar in so many of the fundamental things. Glad that Harry finally hears it.
Are you going to save them all? Or maybe die in a flaming inferno? Wouldn't that be dramatic.”
Though, not, of course, that Draco doesn’t have a bit of snarkiness left in him! :)
"I love you."
Ah...the proclamation. You do handle it with power and with the mysteries Dumbledore alludes to both in your story and in canon. For my part, I probably would have placed it later in the story, but that’s not to say that it doesn’t work here, just that I’m a pushy reader! ;)
Harry moved his hand to touch Malfoy's cheek.
I love how that burning finger trail down Harry’s cheek has almost taken on the weight of the proffered hand from first year in this story. And as much as the old covenant was about obedience, order, law and the new covenant about love, trust, respect...how fitting that your images should play a similar role to those Biblical images in this story.
something else entirely, darker and more deep-rooted
Your theme carries through. To a Malfoy, this dependence, this love, let alone love for the boy who nearly killed Voldemort, would be a failure. And Draco is at war with himself, his own heart, soul, mind and body at war, each with the other, forming uneasy and rapidly shifting alliances every minute of every day.
Another gorgeous, powerful chapter. Thank you.
And now for something completely different...You like Lisa Germano!? ...Geek the Girl is one of my favourite albums!