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There I was, all set to have a nice conversation with Coffee and Fire online once I got home. Well. I did indeed have a nice conversation with Fire, because...
Ru: *walks dog home from park* Okay, Dog, let's go into the hou--
Skunk On Porch: Wah!!!!
Ru and Dog: O.o
Skunk On Porch: WAAAAAHHHHH I SAY!!! *lifts tail*
Ru: waaaaaaahhhhinawhisper! *carefully runs away*
Skunk: *putters about helping self to catfood and water*
Dog: Eh. Whatev. *is very good*
Ru: *TEXTS FIRE, COFFEE, AND MUM LIKE WOAH*
Fire: *proceeds to laugh wildly at Ru, then advises her to call animal control*
Skunk: Yum yum yum glug glug yum waaaaaaaaaahhhhh oh wait, it's just some girl crouched behind a car trying to take a picture of me. Yum yum glug.
Dog: *continues to be very, very good*
Coffee: *has apparently gone to sleep*
Ru: *whines to Fire and Mum, then skulks about across the street scaring the neighbors*
Skunk: *knocks over water bowl*
(More whining from Ru, more laughing from Fire, more sleeping from Coffee, more Good Dog, and one offer of 'I will come rescue you' from Mum in Shining Armor.)
Dog: What are we still DOING out here?
Skunk: *waddles in direction of Not On Porch*
Ru: Oh, excellent, okay, Dog, let's just go-- WAAAAAHHHHH CAT GET AWAY FROM THE PORCH HAVE YOU NO SENSE OF IMPENDING DOOM???
Cat #1: Mew?
Skunk: AAAAAAHHHHHHH I LIFT MY TAIL AT YOU.
Cat #1: *comes off porch under direct orders*
Cat #2: Well. Hello.
Ru: NOOOOOO GAWD NOOOOOOOOKJHNVFOUBVWRNVJKSDhnlfcgshygytafjsdkfkj
(Time passes. Cats sit in garden. Ru skulks. Skunk resumes position of Definitely On Porch And Not Leaving.)
Skunk: Yum yum glug ooh, look, a convenient chair to sit under.
Ru: *gives up and begs for rescue*
Dog: Yeah. Antsy now. *is STILL very, very good*
Mum: I'm coming over.
Ru: *FLAILFLAILFLAILFLAILFLAIL*
Fire: HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU ARE SO RIDICULOUS.
Skunk: Okay. Bye now. *LEAVES, OMG*
Ru: *creeps up on porch with intent to pounce on front door*
Mum: *drives up in Shining White VolvoSteedTM*
Ru: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHWTFBBQRAWRetc
Mum: Go inside. Shut the dog door.
Ru: *lots of pouting/creeping/stomping into house*
Mum: *drives back into the sunset*
Ru: *calls Mum* THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU I LOVE YOU WAAAAHHHHHH.
Mum: *metaphorically pets head* You're welcome, Dear.
...
...
Lessons learned:
1) Skunks are incredibly adorable. Especially when they are snuffling around in kitty sleeping baskets.
2) Skunks are the most terrifying animal on earth. *nods* An elephant or, say, a Great White Shark on the porch could not have caused such panic and upheaval. ^_^
Lessons already known:
1) Ru is a complete soap opera star when flustered.
Ru: *walks dog home from park* Okay, Dog, let's go into the hou--
Skunk On Porch: Wah!!!!
Ru and Dog: O.o
Skunk On Porch: WAAAAAHHHHH I SAY!!! *lifts tail*
Ru: waaaaaaahhhhinawhisper! *carefully runs away*
Skunk: *putters about helping self to catfood and water*
Dog: Eh. Whatev. *is very good*
Ru: *TEXTS FIRE, COFFEE, AND MUM LIKE WOAH*
Fire: *proceeds to laugh wildly at Ru, then advises her to call animal control*
Skunk: Yum yum yum glug glug yum waaaaaaaaaahhhhh oh wait, it's just some girl crouched behind a car trying to take a picture of me. Yum yum glug.
Dog: *continues to be very, very good*
Coffee: *has apparently gone to sleep*
Ru: *whines to Fire and Mum, then skulks about across the street scaring the neighbors*
Skunk: *knocks over water bowl*
(More whining from Ru, more laughing from Fire, more sleeping from Coffee, more Good Dog, and one offer of 'I will come rescue you' from Mum in Shining Armor.)
Dog: What are we still DOING out here?
Skunk: *waddles in direction of Not On Porch*
Ru: Oh, excellent, okay, Dog, let's just go-- WAAAAAHHHHH CAT GET AWAY FROM THE PORCH HAVE YOU NO SENSE OF IMPENDING DOOM???
Cat #1: Mew?
Skunk: AAAAAAHHHHHHH I LIFT MY TAIL AT YOU.
Cat #1: *comes off porch under direct orders*
Cat #2: Well. Hello.
Ru: NOOOOOO GAWD NOOOOOOOOKJHNVFOUBVWRNVJKSDhnlfcgshygytafjsdkfkj
(Time passes. Cats sit in garden. Ru skulks. Skunk resumes position of Definitely On Porch And Not Leaving.)
Skunk: Yum yum glug ooh, look, a convenient chair to sit under.
Ru: *gives up and begs for rescue*
Dog: Yeah. Antsy now. *is STILL very, very good*
Mum: I'm coming over.
Ru: *FLAILFLAILFLAILFLAILFLAIL*
Fire: HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU ARE SO RIDICULOUS.
Skunk: Okay. Bye now. *LEAVES, OMG*
Ru: *creeps up on porch with intent to pounce on front door*
Mum: *drives up in Shining White VolvoSteedTM*
Ru: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHWTFBBQRAWRetc
Mum: Go inside. Shut the dog door.
Ru: *lots of pouting/creeping/stomping into house*
Mum: *drives back into the sunset*
Ru: *calls Mum* THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU I LOVE YOU WAAAAHHHHHH.
Mum: *metaphorically pets head* You're welcome, Dear.
...
...
Lessons learned:
1) Skunks are incredibly adorable. Especially when they are snuffling around in kitty sleeping baskets.
2) Skunks are the most terrifying animal on earth. *nods* An elephant or, say, a Great White Shark on the porch could not have caused such panic and upheaval. ^_^
Lessons already known:
1) Ru is a complete soap opera star when flustered.
