And would you believe that i went over the comment limit? JESUS.
He would not kiss me. I tried, seven times, and each time he turned away and swallowed.
Oh Draco, and it's not why you think. It's because of why he thinks Draco wants the kiss, and they're both so horribly shut off from the other it's like a physical hurt in my chest.
I sank to my knees and cried in the middle of the hallway, curled into a ball, wracked by exhaustion and his absence.
He did not return for five days. Four nights I fell asleep against a damp pillow, my throat raw from the wrenching sobs. The last night I locked it all away. When he came back, there was nothing there to show.
Oh god. That's my Draco. If he falls apart, it's where no one can see. Where no one will ever know. But oh god, I can't stand how much Harry needs to know right there.
He reached out. I’d had no idea how shattered I had become at the idea that I would never be able to feel his fingers on my body again, his lips against mine.
This part here and everything directly following it. It's just so laid open, so bare, so raw, and goddamnit Rerun, I just did my makeup and now you're gonna make me cry.
I’d been wrong. Again. I had never found him, just as I had never heard him through my own silence months ago. All the places I’d looked, shadowed by his anger, the tug and thrust he seemed to thrive on, the rage that teemed just beneath his skin... it was not him and I’d missed the real him, always searching for what was plainly in front of my face. I’d searched so hard I had hidden it from myself.
THIS. This paragraph is the very essence of your Draco. It's EXACTLY him. Because it's so true, he looks, and he sees, but he doesn't. And oh god, how that has to hurt Harry so much. That Draco thought he was that anger, that hate, that pain, but he stayed anyway. That Draco would have stayed on, thinking that about Harry. Again, I want this so bad from the other side. From Harry's point of view, to see DRACO from the outside. Through the trial, and the denying himself what he wants, and oh god I can't believe you wrote this for ME and you are CRAZY for that. You really are. I'll probably write more about this later, but I'm going to be late to work now, because I couldn't let this go unreviewed for the entire day.
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Date: 2004-11-30 04:22 am (UTC)From:He would not kiss me. I tried, seven times, and each time he turned away and swallowed.
Oh Draco, and it's not why you think. It's because of why he thinks Draco wants the kiss, and they're both so horribly shut off from the other it's like a physical hurt in my chest.
I sank to my knees and cried in the middle of the hallway, curled into a ball, wracked by exhaustion and his absence.
He did not return for five days. Four nights I fell asleep against a damp pillow, my throat raw from the wrenching sobs. The last night I locked it all away. When he came back, there was nothing there to show.
Oh god. That's my Draco. If he falls apart, it's where no one can see. Where no one will ever know. But oh god, I can't stand how much Harry needs to know right there.
He reached out. I’d had no idea how shattered I had become at the idea that I would never be able to feel his fingers on my body again, his lips against mine.
This part here and everything directly following it. It's just so laid open, so bare, so raw, and goddamnit Rerun, I just did my makeup and now you're gonna make me cry.
I’d been wrong. Again. I had never found him, just as I had never heard him through my own silence months ago. All the places I’d looked, shadowed by his anger, the tug and thrust he seemed to thrive on, the rage that teemed just beneath his skin... it was not him and I’d missed the real him, always searching for what was plainly in front of my face. I’d searched so hard I had hidden it from myself.
THIS. This paragraph is the very essence of your Draco. It's EXACTLY him. Because it's so true, he looks, and he sees, but he doesn't. And oh god, how that has to hurt Harry so much. That Draco thought he was that anger, that hate, that pain, but he stayed anyway. That Draco would have stayed on, thinking that about Harry. Again, I want this so bad from the other side. From Harry's point of view, to see DRACO from the outside. Through the trial, and the denying himself what he wants, and oh god I can't believe you wrote this for ME and you are CRAZY for that. You really are. I'll probably write more about this later, but I'm going to be late to work now, because I couldn't let this go unreviewed for the entire day.
I LOVE YOU!