Date: 2006-01-01 04:18 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] mackenzie1.livejournal.com
Hmm. OK, first of all: Ouch. Your angst is beautifully painful. Here's two parts that hurt me, but in such a perfect way: A hand stroked his hair. “Not your fault, Harry.” Draco’s voice shuddered, catching at the end. It sounded so helpless. Harry felt lips brush his forehead. “Not your… Harry, let— just… let it out.” And: “I wish I were gone. I want…” --Draco’s voice cracked, fingers trembling over Harry’s lips. “No, don’t, please don’t wish that—”

This bit - Images of Maggie’s auburn hair and green eyes faded. - gave me an Oedipus feel, and I was almost mad at myself for not seeing this coming: “My daughter,” he said stiffly.

I simply LOVE that you make the penguins just as much of a main character as Harry and Draco. Also: “Is that a penguin chick under your skin flap, or are you just happy to see me?” *grin*

This description - cinder-grey lashes - is delightfully unique. Usually it's just 'blond lashes' or something similar.

And that's it for now - I'll do my overall fic review after I've read the second part. :D But I think it's safe for you to assume that I adore this story so far, especially its setting. *applauds*

This account has disabled anonymous posting.
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting

Profile

rurounihime: (Default)
rurounihime

May 2018

S M T W T F S
  12345
6789101112
13141516171819
2021 2223242526
2728293031  

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jun. 20th, 2025 12:26 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios