rurounihime | (no subject)

There isn't much time, so I'll make this brief, and I want one of you to follow my instructions closely, and to the letter. Someone, if you care anything about me or want to ever read my fic again, call the POLICE! She's got a gunny sack and a bit of garroting wire, with handles no less, and a crazy look in her eyes.

Or at least, that's what she had. She's left the room to go eat lasagna. But just as soon as she gets back, I know my fate is sealed.

It's my own fault really. I bought her "Audition" for Christmas, and then we watched it, and she just ... snapped.

It was all going so well. And then it went terribly wrong.

And what's worse is I know exactly what's in store for me, because I've already seen her last "pet." He used to be an attractive young man, that much is evident, and was obviously her type. You know, pale skin, spindly body, boney actually, long black hair. Deep dark cadaverous circles for eyes. You know, creepy. But hot. Creepy hot. Now, he's a handless, footless, tongueless, vomit eating, gibbering, gunny-sack gimp of despair and doom. She keeps him in a gunny sack hanging inside her closet, alongside her feather boas, some freaky many tailed whips, and a poster of 'N Sync (just to torture him). He rants on and on about that in particular, tonguelessly of course. It sounds something like "whaaaa uh ih ahve ooo eee 'ennn uuuuuuggg."

She only takes him out occasionally so he can make her a latte. He makes really good lattes. We call them "essence of gunny-sack gimp." He puts extra cinnamon in them, just the way she likes it. Thankfully, he also knows how to make them with soy. I think she kidnapped him from a Starbucks somewhere, or maybe some other trendy coffee emporium.

Oh shit, I think I hear her coming back. Gunny-sack-coffee-gimp is screaming something like "oooood ooood oooommmmmoood." I have no idea what that means.

Oh my, she's saying something creepy. It sounds a lot like "eateateateateat... lasagna goooood." She's walking through the door, oh dear lord, she's wearing a plastic suit and long long plastic heavy duty gloves and she's got her garroting wire all stretched out.

'Hello, you' she says to me. 'Are you prepared to lose your squiggly-spooch? Whahahahahahaha.'

No! No! No!! Noooooa;sdfljks;fdljk,f.c .....

Lambasted by

fireelemental79 :-P

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

*crackles* the hanging of him in the gunny sack in a closet with a N'Sync poster is a nice touch ^_~

Creepy.. the garrot weilding murderer who sounds suspiciously like a zombie (okay, a slightly clearer headed one)

I'm just wondering how does someone who handless and footless make a latte *curious* must be very talented *nods*

See, we thought you would be able to appreciate this particular reference. *gets all nostalgic* I miss our classsssssss...

The handless footless school of latte making is a very obscure and carefully guarded secret. In other words, we really have no idea. ^_~

I could I forget, the only movie where Fire grind her teeth ^_^ I do miss the class and the watching of the "scary" movies.... sounds like you had a great time !

that was me by the way, not that you couldn't have figure it out ^_^ Apparently, it's not logging me automatically, and i didn't even notice

'Twas fun. But we missed you. ^_^

Oh, you know, I would call the police if I thought it would be of any use, but the Swedish police would say that they don't do out-of-state business, and go get some coffee and a bun instead, and carry on losing the investigation papers.

XD

*laughs uproariously*

Oh, I love you.

oh i love that takashi miike! have you seen 'gozu' or 'ichi the killer'? or his short film 'box' on the 'three... extremes' dvd? that's all the miike i've seen at this point.. and of course his mini cameo on 'hostel'...

We haven't seen those! *bows to your superior Miike knowledge* But I have come across Ichi in the movie rental shop. I shall see if I can't get my hands on it...

make sure you get the unrated!!! otherwise his movies are even more confusing.. tho audition was pretty straight forward...

Hahaha, I bet.

*lolz after panicking slightly*

Hahaha, sorry for the scary! *loves* Thanks for being concerned.

Malkavian battle scream: "I wants ass meats! Spoooooge!"

tHAT IS all

Are all Malkavians this sick and depraved? ^_^

yes

I thought so.

Love your new icon, by the way. I can certainly attest to its insatiable pull...

Yes. And that particular cup... true essence. Oh, and how. :-D I also made it my cell phone background. I'm also thinking of chaning my name to caffine!Fire.