I read it again so I could leave a better review and got blown away again because this was just... ouch. It was real and powerful and so painful but not overdone-- I don't know how to describe it, not quiet, because I can hear the yelling, but... distilled, maybe. Essential, like a metal ball of pain.
He knew, knew… that Draco wasn’t going to approach, that he was just going to let them both simmer here in the middle of this miasma. That he was going to stay where he was, separated by air and unspoken secrets, and wasn’t going to say anything.
Your words-- they're beautiful, and you really make them hurt. All, whoa. Miasma. That really underlined the awful awful of it.
And here?
Draco spoke in a voice much too quiet. “How could you—Harry—?”
Your dialogue is perfect. I just want to hold them both and make it better.
It works so well and hurts so much because they know each other so well, they have to, to hurt each other so much, but there's also so much they don't understand. I can really feel how tired Harry is and how this is the very edge, and oh, your ending. Choppy, because that's all that's left, no energy anymore, just sighs and touching hands and this is them trying and I can't stop reading that last line because it's perfect.
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Date: 2006-05-08 03:04 pm (UTC)From:He knew, knew… that Draco wasn’t going to approach, that he was just going to let them both simmer here in the middle of this miasma. That he was going to stay where he was, separated by air and unspoken secrets, and wasn’t going to say anything.
Your words-- they're beautiful, and you really make them hurt. All, whoa. Miasma. That really underlined the awful awful of it.
And here?
Draco spoke in a voice much too quiet. “How could you—Harry—?”
Your dialogue is perfect. I just want to hold them both and make it better.
It works so well and hurts so much because they know each other so well, they have to, to hurt each other so much, but there's also so much they don't understand. I can really feel how tired Harry is and how this is the very edge, and oh, your ending. Choppy, because that's all that's left, no energy anymore, just sighs and touching hands and this is them trying and I can't stop reading that last line because it's perfect.
Thank you for writing this.