Mpreg!

[rurounihime]

More mpreg! Wahoo, bebbehs!

Title: Over the Threshold
Author: me
Pairing: H/D
Rating: R
Summary: Draco's sleepless nights are getting worse.
Warning: MPREG. Hear ye, hear ye. Bebbehs in male bodies be yonder.
Notes: This one is for Coffee! *snuggles* Part three in the Under Fingertips universe. Thanks so much to Fire for the beta.

Part 1: Under Fingertips
Part 2: The Thought of It Otherwise

...

Over the Threshold


Clink.

The small pool of lamplight shone yellow down onto Draco’s hands. The rest of the room was washed in thick darkness. He looked up, saw the rumple of blankets over his knees; the blackness swallowed everything beyond. Beside him, Harry curled against the pillow, his back a warm weight along Draco’s thigh. Asleep again, finally. The soft whisper of his breathing was the only sound Draco could hear. That, and…

Clink.

Draco turned the small bottles over in his palm, and the glass gleamed back in feeble, iridescent shimmers.

Pay special attention to the scent of each.

The bottles lolled back and forth over his palm. He could still smell garlic faintly in the air. Harry sighed in his sleep.

Clink.

* * *

“You sure you’re alright?”

Harry gave a tired snort and narrowed his eyes. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

Draco carded his fingers through Harry’s hair. The baby was moving again; he could feel it through his other palm, flat over Harry’s stomach. Tiny, insistent flutters beneath the skin. Harry murmured soft, wordless, surprised sounds with each kick. Draco mouthed Harry’s lower lip, kissed it gently, covered it with his own mouth and sucked, light and long. Harry’s hand climbed into his hair, stroking through the strands lazily, lulling him down again and again. Gentle, languorous flickers of tongue against his lips and teeth. Draco caught his breath this time for Harry’s quick thrust, deep into his mouth, caressing his tongue and drawing it out. He went, fell into it, did not try to stop the groan that accompanied the fall. He tilted his head, caught Harry’s lips again, and his lover lifted his head from the pillow with a dazed whimper.

Draco kissed him soundly. Harry’s lips opened under his, slightly chapped and soft and slick all at once. His tongue tasted of mint. Draco recognized it; toothpaste. Nothing underneath. He drew out of the kiss, licking his lips. Harry followed him upward, nipping at his mouth, and Draco raised himself out of reach.

“Did you eat?” he murmured.

Harry closed his eyes and lay back with a groan. His stomach muscles clenched slightly; the tiniest of grimaces flitted across his face. “Yes. Yes, of course I ate. You were there.”

Draco trailed his tongue over his own teeth. He could taste nothing but mint. “Harry—”

“I did,” Harry broke in. He touched Draco’s chin and his voice dropped to a whisper. “I promise I ate.”

Draco raised his head, just in time to find Harry’s mouth against his once more. He exhaled and stroked one hand over his lover’s shoulder, feeling each pull of muscle. Harry’s body rocked gently forward, against his side. One leg slipped up and curled itself around his hip. Draco could feel Harry’s foot drifting up and down the back of his leg. Toes clenched on the peak of the kiss, and Draco pulled back to find green eyes clouded and vague, blinking at him. Harry breathed, heavy, rapid pants that lifted the hair on Draco’s arms. He shivered. Felt the warm swell of Harry’s belly beneath his stomach. Another flutter.

Draco shifted back and looked down at where his hand rested against Harry’s abdomen. He felt the other man's breath hitch; fingers clenched almost unnoticeably around his arm.

“Is he always this active?” he asked quietly.

“More than usual tonight.” Harry stirred abruptly. Cleared his throat. “Is this— Are you—”

Draco met his eyes. Deep green. He wondered if the baby would have those eyes.

“No.” He bent and kissed Harry tenderly, feeling his mouth open hesitantly to the touch. There was a longing in that kiss, and he wasn’t sure who it was coming from. “It’s fine, Harry.”

His lover gazed at him for a long, tremulous instant, then Harry’s hand had inched down, felt for him between his legs. Draco hissed and sought air, and Harry kissed his throat almost chastely as he stroked him.

Suddenly Harry let out a groan. His hand pulled away. “No— no, it’s no use, I’m sorry.”

Draco drew a deep, difficult breath. He moved back off of Harry; the other man gave a weak groan and curled slightly onto his side. Draco watched Harry wrap one arm loosely around his abdomen. His own body floundered; waves of almost-pain pooled in his groin. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, willing the pressure to subside. He bit his lip a little too hard and clenched his toes at the burst of real pain. “You alright?”

Harry’s eyes were closed. One hand rubbed small circles over his stomach, trembling as it swept down the curve. “Just… hurts. What day is it?”

Draco propped himself on one elbow and watched the slow, steady circling of Harry’s hand. “It’s too soon, Harry.”

Harry nodded too fast, grimacing. Draco watched for a moment longer, feeling the dull ache in his loins, and then slipped his hand under Harry’s body and began to knead his back in tight, firm strokes. Harry’s eyes flew open and darted to his, and then he rolled gingerly, cupping his palm around the gentle bulge of his belly.

“Feels like I’ve been kicked in the stomach,” he muttered. Draco said nothing. His irritation was brief and fading already; each breath swept more of the poisonous tendrils away. Harry’s skin felt damp under his fingers. His eyes had taken on that shadowed look that Draco was beginning to associate with the end of the week. Harry’s breathing hitched again.

“Still moving?” Draco asked.

Harry nodded jerkily. “The more he moves, the… more it hurts. Always like this.”

Draco touched Harry’s forehead, and his lover suddenly opened his eyes and took a quick breath. His eyes roved Draco’s body. “I… Draco, do you want me to…”

He found a half-smile somewhere and shook his head. “Not much use anymore.”

Harry lay back with a groan. “Tomorrow, Draco. I promise.”

Yes, tomorrow. He frowned, listening to Harry’s shallow breathing. Tomorrow they would most likely finish what was started; Harry’s weekly dose would be fresh enough for the next four nights, if they wanted.

* * *

The hardwood creaked under Draco’s bare feet. He padded down the hall, and the silence of the house folded itself around him. He could feel the cool plaster of the wall beneath his fingertips. The air was almost too cold down his bare back, shifting over his arms and prickling the hairs there.

Ivory-blue light spilled in jagged stripes across the hallway from the bathroom doorway, lending a strange, ethereal glow to the room beyond. Draco’s fingers found the smooth rise of the doorjamb, and for just an instant, he paused, uncertain of his footing. The tiles in the shower shone under the bright moonlight from outside, and the mirror gleamed, a large, dark hole in the wall. Draco shut his eyes, opened them, and stepped over the threshold.

The tiny cupboard door opened with a squeal that grated on his ears. Draco rubbed at the back of his neck.

Three potions.

He could almost hear the Healer’s voice cascading off the cold tile in the milky moonlight. Pay special attention to the scent of each. The knowledge will become invaluable to you.

Draco lifted his left hand and stared at the three tiny bottles there. Almost without conscious thought, he uncorked the first vial and raised it to his nose, sniffing delicately. Years of potions classes had taught him the dangers of breathing deeply over strange mixtures. A full array of flavors hit his senses, but this time he did not gag, as he had in the Healer’s office. The color was impossible to discern in the odd light, but he remembered dark amber. Opaque.

To be taken on the first night of each month.

Draco mouthed his own words from weeks ago. Smells like garlic and anise. Predominantly.

Those cover the less inviting odors. The Titus Cirrus Elixir, after the man who first developed it. It’s meant to supplement the second potion.

He rolled the second vial between his fingers. Long, and rosy pink. To be taken on a weekly basis, on the same day, within the same two hours, as the week before.

He remembered the scent of rose water and fennel.

Unfortunately, it does not taste as good as it smells. Malattia Celi Beta. A mixture from Italy, containing all of the displacement charms and spellwork. A great deal of magic goes into it, and not simply in the potions field.

She’d smiled at him briefly, but then her expression had sobered. The third vial was small and rounded. Coriander. The smell of old leather. Valerian? And… Something that tingled Draco’s nose, threatening to burn through the soft tissues of his throat should he dare to swallow it. He studied the mixture in the darkness. It was the color of tar.

“If all goes well,” he said slowly into the silence. “If all goes well.”

This potion is a final option, should Harry’s body resist the other two. It contains several herbs from China, two of which have not been widely accepted for use, except for this very potion. And there is the Quemadura Root from Chile. Very obscure, very rare, and very potent. It will deaden the body’s natural defense mechanisms long enough for the other two potions to take effect. But understand, Draco, this one is a last resort. In the best of circumstances, I do not intend for Harry to use it. Any usage of this potion will require a subsequent visit from a Healer, and can cause lasting damage to the imbiber. The measurements must be precise.

Draco peered at the innocuous little bottle. It did so resemble the ink he'd used daily in school.

The precise dosage rested there in his palm, and it was all he would receive. Only if Harry were forced to use it… would they receive another.

Draco’s hand squeezed involuntarily around the bottle. He blinked and jerked his arm up, pushing the little vessel into the cupboard. His fingers left the smooth glass of the vial, and the room seemed to tilt, and then right itself.

“What are we doing?” he whispered. His own voice shocked him. He clutched the door of the cupboard, staring at the soft glimmer of light across the two remaining vials in his other hand. The strongest of medicines, potions he hadn’t even imagined the existence of three months ago, were in his home, waiting to be taken by the man he…

Draco frowned. The man he was sleeping with. The man carrying his child.

For a frightening instant, the idea of a child eluded him. Draco felt a shudder rattle through him. “It’s not a sickness, you arse,” he muttered. “There’s a baby there.”

He had felt it – him, Draco reminded himself – move, not hours ago. The tiniest of ripples beneath Harry’s skin, fragile and scarcely there. And these were medicines, there was no other word for them. They would strengthen that delicate movement into a baby. Draco ran a hand over his face, trying to see, really see, but found himself utterly void. There was no connection, no binding tie between those weak flutters and the image of a child; just a vague foggy space he could barely see into.

With an odd shiver, Draco realized his right hand was pressed across his own belly, quaking against the muscles and flesh there.

But for a stroke of… what? His fingers quavered, touching firm, flat expanses of skin and muscle. That night, it had been Harry who bottomed. If just one thing had been different, if instead, he had been the one to—

Draco gave a harsh gasp and scrabbled for the light switch. There was a breathless eternity of moonlight as he clawed at the wall, and then light flooded into his eyes, cruel and yellow. Draco grasped the sink with one hand, the two bottles a solid presence against his left palm, and stared at himself in the mirror. The muscles of his abdomen flexed with each breath, well-defined and familiar. Draco stared. Watched as gooseflesh crawled down his bare arms.

With a jerk, Draco turned from the mirror. He shoved the two vials into the cupboard with shaking fingers and shut the door with a sharp creak, then flicked the light off. The plunging darkness of the hallway unnerved him, and Draco reached for the wall, pressing his palm flat against the cool surface. He made his way slowly, blindly, toward the shadowy bedroom.

...

Part 4

...

...

...

Thanks for reading!

Comments

[fiona-fawkes.livejournal.com]

WHOO-HOO! MPREG!!!

*memories*

I'm still sifting through the f-list after getting back from vacation, but I'm all over new mpreg.

[rurounihime.livejournal.com]

Haha, enjoy your vacation, love!

[piratesmile331.livejournal.com]

Oh, Ru! This is such an achingly beautiful story! You write Harry and Draco's longing and ambivalence so movingly. I hope things turn out well, because it's obvious that Harry and Draco love each other deeply (despite Draco describing Harry as "the man I'm sleeping with"). It's realistic, because the comception of a baby, especially when unexpected, always brings with it feelings of ambivalence, which then are often accompanied by guilt. The way Draco can't stop touching Harry's belly makes me think that he very much wants their child, but he is also right to be terrified about Harry's health and about how a child will change their life. And now he's angsting about how easily it could have been him with the baby in his belly (and probably feeling guilty about being glad that it isn't him). And there is the unresolved issue that Harry was so afraid to tell Draco about how he was feeling that he COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED for 5 months! Somehow, they are going to have to get past that. I'm glad they've moved in together, and that Draco is taking care of Harry.
Without being cliche, I hope that when the baby comes, a lot of their fears will be put to rest. A baby is a miraculous thing, especially in this case. I think one look at that little boy (with his green eyes and platinum hair), and Harry and Draco will be falling in love all over again, with the baby and each other. That doesn't mean it will be easy for them, but birth is a profound experience, especially for two people who so obviously adore one another.

OK, I've babbled on for long enough now. Can't wait to see the rest of the story.

*hugs you*

[piratesmile331.livejournal.com]

And of course, I meant conception, not comception.

[rurounihime.livejournal.com]

I think the main problem with their relationship is that they had so little time to strengthen and ponder the things between the two of them before this tiny, wiggly third party came along. I'm not entirely sure either of them are ready to admit the depth of their feelings for each other verbally yet. They can barely admit it to themselves. Harry's a little better at that than Draco is, but... neither is really doing too well so far.

And haha, don't jump the gun... I'm afraid it's going to get worse before it gets better, unfortunately. Draco's going through some major internal issues right now, and the way they will manifest is not going to be entirely good. But that's all I'm saying.

But you are right: a baby is definitely a miraculous thing, especially in this case. Thank you so much for leaving me such a long, thoughtful review. It really made my day, love. *hugs*

[rubymiene.livejournal.com]

I'm don't normally like mpreg, but this one is very touching.

[rurounihime.livejournal.com]

Wow, thank you so much for reading it, especially if you don't usually like the genre. I'm so glad you enjoyed my fic. ^_^

[winstonmom.livejournal.com]

Ru!
Thanks for this installment, it honestly made my day.
I loved Draco's inner turmoil when thinking about what would've been if he had been the one pregnant. Of course, I wonder about Harry's reaction if that had been the case.
Anyway, thanks for sharing and giving me something to think about.
PS/I'll seat tight and wait for the next part.
Kudos and hugs to you!

[rurounihime.livejournal.com]

I too find myself wondering how Harry would have reacted had Draco gotten pregnant instead. I tend to think that he would have been much warmer about it, but I also don't know if he would have had the chance, because I have to think how Draco would have responded to the entire thing... :( And frankly, I don't know if he would have kept the baby.

But. That's a different story altogether.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! You always leave me the best reviews. *kiss*

[delicatetruth.livejournal.com]

This was wonderful.

So few people write Mpreg, and you do it so very well.

[rurounihime.livejournal.com]

Awww... what a great compliment! *smooch* Thank you.

[luci0logy.livejournal.com]

As always, there is so much depth here and a beauty I could never aspire to in a seemingly simple collection of words. It's the way you phrase things such as:

each breath swept more of the poisonous tendrils away

light flooded into his eyes, cruel and yellow.

Just marvellous!

ps I'm not doing the H/D confrontation re Oliver Wood, something else popped into my head, so I pass the gauntlet to you. Hope a prompt fits soon.

[rurounihime.livejournal.com]

Thank you for such a lovely review, and for picking out those lines in particular. It means a lot to me that you liked my stories this much. *kiss*

Heh, if you want to do it at some point before I can get to it, please feel free. I have to post two weeks in a row, so we'll see what I can come up with for the second week.

[coffeejunkii.livejournal.com]

♥♥♥

i just read it again and it makes me all wibbly and afraid for our boys! there's a lot that's resting on both their shoulders. you can especially tell that in the first half [the second is more about draco's fears]. something i didn't mention to you yesterday is draco's concern about whether harry has eaten or not. has he? i kind of have my doubts...

there's so much more that i could say about this, but the words fail me. just please know that i am so very grateful that you are writing this. *hugs*

[rurounihime.livejournal.com]

It was my pleasure to write it for you. I have you to thank for making me as enamored with mpreg as I am. ^_^

Heh, I think Harry did eat, but he probably didn't eat enough. I'm treating this like an illness, and he's not going to be very hungry. Isn't it horrid that at the times when you are sick and you most need the energy, you don't feel like eating? *shakes head*

[starbellys.livejournal.com]

I love your minimalist approach with dialogue. This is absolutely beautiful.

[rurounihime.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! That's such a great thing to hear, because dialogue is one of the hardest aspects of writing.

[dacro.livejournal.com]

Loved this part:
For a frightening instant, the idea of a child eluded him. Draco felt a shudder rattle through him. “It’s not a sickness, you arse,” he muttered. “There’s a baby there.”

You give Draco such depth. Poor Harry, I can feel his guilt and his pain. *hugs him*

[rurounihime.livejournal.com]

Aww, thank you, hon! And thank you for the rec on your journal. I appreciate it so much. You are always so sweet to me. And so on the ball! I am pants at reccing in any timely manner...

Oh, speaking of timely manners, I took your mpreg quiz. Sorry if I was too late...

[remmus-enovacs.livejournal.com]

I generally don't read mpregs, but this one is really interesting since you're delving a little more into the logistics of a male having a baby. I also love your characterizations. You're doing a good job with Draco's conflicting feelings. Keep it coming. =]

[rurounihime.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's wonderful to hear that you are enjoying the story, especially since you are not a regular mpreg-reader. Thank you so much for giving my fic a read.

[enchanted-jae.livejournal.com]

Oh, they're both so scared and unsure of themselves, and it really tugs at the heartstrings.

[rurounihime.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think I am too mean to them sometimes. But I am so glad you are enjoying it! Thank you.

[best-of-five.livejournal.com]

guess what i've done all morning? catch up on the first two chapters again and now have read part 3.

i'm a huge wibbly gushing sorta mess.

ohh draco. it must be so hard to be him right now. i mean granted that harry's the one in physical pain but your writing shows so well just how much this is tearing draco apart.

-wibbles for the boys-

[rurounihime.livejournal.com]

Haha, what a sweety you are! Thank you. Re-reading my fic and all that... *KISS*

Thanks also for your specific comments on Draco's feelings. I really appreciate it. He's going to do some things that aren't going to be all that likeable, I think, and it's great to know you understand his mindset.

[drusillas-rain.livejournal.com]

yay! you updated!

Loved this chapter, and I can't wait for more

[rurounihime.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *hugs* I'm so glad you liked this chapter.

[haltlos.livejournal.com]

I love this story so far. Your writing is awesome because everything they feel and every breath they take seems to have a meaning - like burdens resting on their shoulders.
Great job!

[rurounihime.livejournal.com]

Wow, thank you! That means a lot to me. This series is important to me, and it's so great to hear that you are enjoying it.

[tigerlily625.livejournal.com]

guh. *is in awe* i absolutely love this fic, it's amazing.
i had found it awhile ago and read the first two parts and then i couldn't find it anymore!! i was so upset, lol. but i just found it again today and saw that there was another chapter posted! i was so excited. lol.

but seriously, this is absolutely amazing. the first time i read it i wanted to cry, it's just so ugh! you know??? lol. you are an amazing writer, truly. i wish i could have at least half the talent that you do..
again, bravo, and i hope you update soon. i cannot wait to read more. = )

ps- i think i've officially worn out the use of the word "amazing" in this response.. lol! (^_^)

[rurounihime.livejournal.com]

*blush* Awww... wow, thank you for such a nice comment. I'm glad you found the story again. It's one that I update when I am in the mood, so I can't guarantee when the next part will be posted, but it makes me so happy that you like it so much!

[dragonfly-lily.livejournal.com]

This story is beautiful and oh so painful!
I hope you dont mind if I friend you so that I dont miss a part.

[rurounihime.livejournal.com]

I do not mind if you friend me. I am flattered that you want to! *hugs* Thank you so much for reading it, and for leaving me such a nice comment.

As far as updates go, I tend to update this one when I am especially inspired, so it comes and goes. It may take me some time... Sorry for the delay.

[winnett.livejournal.com]

Oh, lovely, wonderful, interesting mpreg! I didn't know this was a WIP. *eagerly awaits next installment*

I love Harry and Draco's uncertainty about the situation, each worried about their own things. Nicely written.

[rurounihime.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for reading! This story line is a challenge and a joy to write... Kind of an experiment for me in some ways. I'm so happy you are enjoying it. ^_^

As far as other chapters go, I'm afraid I'm in the midst of working on a massive WIP that is taking up most of my H/D energies. I tend to update this series when I feel especially inspired to do so, so it might take me some time... Sorry for the wait.