Retrieve the Kraken!

Okay. This is a fic I have been working on for a time now. It is fairly long, so I am going to post it in two parts. But there are things about it I am not happy with and I am looking for people's opinions on what works well, what you like, what could be changed, worked on, elaborated, etc.

IT IS NOT H/D. As much as I love the boys, even I need a break at times. Harry and Draco are in the fic, and you can take their actions as you like, of course. But the main ship is actually a rather unusual one: Millicent/Dean.

I would really appreciate getting your thoughts on how this one works. Some things about it are rubbing me the wrong way and I am not sure what to do. Thanks a ton, everyone.

Title: The Education of Dean Thomas
Author: RurouniHime
Pairing: Millicent/Dean
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Dean has never tutored a Slytherin before. But there are some lessons that can only be learned outside of the books.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. They belong to JK Rowling.

( EDT: Part One )

On to Part 2