rurounihime: (Default)
Again, sorry for the lateness of this chapter. I have been having too much fun keeping up with all the wonderful [livejournal.com profile] hd_holidays submissions! I encourage everyone to go and check them out. ^__^

Title: The Road (16/?)
Author: [livejournal.com profile] rurounihime
Rating: hard R when all is said and done…
Pairing: H/D eventually
Summary: In the midst of a disintegrating war, Harry awaits the arrival of the Order’s last hope.
Warning: violence, character death, spoilers for all books
Disclaimer: The HP characters and most of the spellwork do not belong to me.

A/N: Thank you to April for her fabulous and attentive beta-ing, and to Coffee for constantly letting me bounce ideas off of her. The other major pairing in this is Blaise/Seamus, but there are minor het pairings as well.



No artwork or music for this chapter.



Previous chapters

Chapter 16: Old Wounds


Ginny squeezed her brother’s hand, perhaps too tightly, but it was too much of an effort to distinguish any longer. The hospital ward was quiet except for his breathing. It had become easier; the change had been audible to her even as she sat beside him.

She hadn’t been able to think of anywhere else to go. Harry’s failure to return to her two nights prior had not been unexpected, but even the best mental preparation in the world had been unable to steady her for the daunting vigil: watching the closed doors of first the sitting room and then later, when she finally roused herself from her tears and followed a house-elf upstairs to her own chamber. Both sets of doors had remained closed into the small hours of the night, and the heaviness and loneliness of the castle as it slept settled around her like a voluminous shroud. Sleep had been out of the question, even exhausted as she was. She’d paced, found food in her knapsack, paced some more, and waited.

Harry had never returned.

Finally, sleep had taken her senses from her, and then Luna’s song had broken across her ears, drawing her from her stupor. The castle was extremely quiet; she’d walked, and ultimately been unable to bear the intense silence and emptiness. Somehow she’d found her way back into the infirmary.

Fred’s sleep had been light; she hadn’t been able to resist touching his shoulder. Achingly familiar blue eyes opened, and Fred sat up blurrily.

“Gods— Ginny?”

It was amazing how good it felt to be held by her brother again. She clung to him wordlessly, just letting all the aches and pains drip out of her. He’d changed: his shoulders were thin and much tenser than she remembered, and she could feel his ribs prominently as she hugged him.

“Gin…” Fred kissed her hair, squeezing her hard enough to hurt, holding on as if he couldn’t remember how to let go. “I didn’t know you were here, I thought… Merlin, Ginny, thank the Founders.”

“George?” she asked when she could manage her voice. “What happened?”

They both looked toward the bed and watched the unsteady rise and fall of their brother’s chest. His fingers were clenched and Ginny reached to uncurl them. Fred’s voice was hollow.

“Sudden. He wouldn’t let me… wouldn’t let me heal him. I could have, if only—” Fred rubbed a hand over his eyes. Ginny stroked the mussed hair from his forehead. He hadn’t bathed yet and she could see the filth in rivulets on his flesh. She couldn’t have looked much better.

“You’re a sight,” she said. Fred looked at her for a long moment, and then the tiniest of smiles cracked his pallor.

“You’re no Occamy yourself, you know.”

It was the first time she’d laughed in days.

They’d eaten there in the infirmary, wondered together about where their mother and father were, avoided the subject of Ron entirely, and traded stories about their brushes with Death Eaters. It was easy to talk to her brother, even about the difficult things like the whereabouts of their family members. There was no need to explain her pain to Fred, to wonder if he knew the depth of her misery, her loneliness. He experienced it just as she did.

And now, an entire day later, Ginny held George’s fingers as Fred slumbered beside them, and tried not to think. It had been easier when she’d feared for George’s life. But it was clear he was recovering, though it still came in slips and slides. Fred’s conversation had been enough to silence her self-reflection for a time, but now there was nothing except the sound of Luna’s voice to remind her of where she was, and that Harry was somewhere in the castle.

Harry had arrived in the infirmary that morning, clean-clothed and alert, and Ginny had been able to find one last sprig of hope somewhere in the twisted thorns in her chest. His eyes, vibrant jade, had widened when he saw her, and there was no hint of the anxiety she herself had been feeling all night. Perhaps… perhaps he had just gone to bed two nights ago, and been caught up in more important things for the past day. Perhaps he’d wanted to give her time alone with Fred and George.

Perhaps he really had just thanked Draco Malfoy and been done with it.

She’d spent the morning smiling, wondering at how normal it felt to be in the same room as Fred, George and Harry again. Certainly, they were missing some familiar faces. But this was the Harry of her fifth year and all the years before, tossing jokes back and forth with her brother, running a hand sheepishly through his thatch, and genuinely happy to be in her presence. Ginny had blossomed into it, let herself tumble because she knew this ground, and she knew she would be caught.

When Fred had drifted back into sleep once more, Harry’d led her from the hospital wing, down toward the kitchens. Ginny had been in high spirits.

It wasn’t until after their meal, when they reached the staircase leading up from the cellars and saw Draco Malfoy coming down, that Ginny realised her utter mistake.

It was clear from the instant their eyes locked. Draco halted in mid-step on the stairs, gazing down at them, and Harry’s body went absolutely still beside her. It only lasted for the flicker of an eye, and then they’d moved past each other. But the damage was done.

Ginny didn’t know how she knew, but she did. They’d… slept together. Had sex. At some point in the past two days, Harry had taken Draco Malfoy to his bed.

It was in the way Draco carried himself as he passed them on the stairs, and the way Harry nearly turned. Nearly. She hadn’t looked, but she knew he’d glanced back.

Gods. The idea of Harry’s body in someone else’s hands— in firelight. Torchlight? Had they been able to hear the rain as they’d— as they’d moved— Ginny’s entire body had threatened to crumple right there in the stairwell. She sought Harry’s eyes and found them vacant, lost somewhere back down the stairs in the darkness. Where Draco had gone. The pain struck her heart so hard she looked away, wanting to hide the evidence of the burning behind her eyes. Yes. Harry had had sex with Draco Malfoy. In his bed, or Draco’s, it didn’t matter. And something had happened there that shuttered his good mood.

She would have found some modicum of satisfaction in that if not for the wrenching hurt in Harry’s eyes.

Ginny forced herself to release George’s pale hand, thankful for the solitude of the infirmary and the fact that Fred was asleep. There had been no salvaging of her mindset after the meeting on the stairs; she’d only been able to think of coming here, of being with her blood again, her family. What she had left of it.

Gods, why in hell had she gone back in the forest? she thought bitterly. Why didn’t you just let them have him? He was going to sacrifice himself willingly, you could have just— If you’d only stayed away—

Ginny couldn’t decide what felt worse: the sick horror she felt at those thoughts, or the fact that a small part of her still very much wished they were the reality.

George gave a cleansing sigh and turned over in his sleep. Ginny felt tears prick her eyelids yet again. “Oh yes,” she whispered to herself. “So big of you. Let the Death Eaters have your competition and all is well again.”

No one answered.

“Shouldn’t have come,” she mumbled. Her jaw ached from holding back all the frustration, all the tears. Here she was, playing at some romantic story, and when it all fell down around her, she could only weep for her folly. Seven hells, what sort of person had she become?

She longed for the days before, when she hadn’t known that Harry had slept with Draco, or how deeply Draco’s feelings for her intended went. When she was just nervous and excited by the prospect of knowing Harry intimately again, of seeing the end of this war in sight at last. Blaise and Seamus with her by the fire, telling stories and sharing food, awaiting the next turn of the road, the next step in whatever plan was being hatched for them all. It was just a game then, and everyone was alive and healthy and together. Scattered, but together somehow in a way they weren’t any longer. She knew it was stupid, that people had been dying left and right no matter what she understood about Harry and Draco’s relationship or lack thereof, but at least she’d felt safe.

And with Seamus and Blaise, she’d felt inexplicably safe. It was hard to put her finger on what it was that made her feel so secure. She’d been with friends there, and she’d known they were lovers, that they did so much more than sleep side by side during the night. But it hadn’t been a threat to her. It had been a comfort, to see that the war still held no sway over that sort of emotional attachment, that love was still a possibility, a reality.

Fuck. She probably had Draco to thank for their existence, too, somehow. Wouldn’t that just be the way?

“Merlin, where are you?” she muttered. As if calling them would bring Seamus and Blaise to her like some wild Accio. They’d always been some sort of proof that she was headed for something greater. Somehow she couldn’t get it out of her mind that if they were with her again, here, she could have that fabled love for herself once more. The chance of it at least.

Ginny held George’s hand, listened to Fred’s sleeping breaths, and wondered helplessly where her friends were at that moment.

* * *

Grimmauld Place, one year ago


It was like watching his life from beneath the surface of a pool. Muted light, muffled voices. His heartbeat a dull thud in his temples.

Blaise didn’t know if he was asleep or awake. He had been awake, surely, for over two days. He remembered the aches in his calves and thighs, the pounding of his heart in time to his steps as he ran. Skirted. Dodged through copses of trees that seemed overly vivid to his taxed mind. He’d watched Death Eaters pass the places he hid, their wands drawn and trembling before them, the circles under their own eyes dire reminders of what he must look like. He remembered feeling a vague, clouded fear. They were determined. They had his stamina, and were they not just like the Order in their diligence, their commitment? They would forgo sleep to search him out if they could, and perhaps fall to the earth in a shaking stupor rather than return to their Lord without him.

But they had not caught him. Or maybe they had, and this bed, this familiar warmth and musty smell, these dark, cracked walls and this withering candlelight, were all an hallucination. Grimmauld wallowed heavily in the night’s silence around him and he strove to grip the soft cotton of his sheets— remind himself of their reality— but his fingers did no more than twitch.

His head hurt. The ache whispered through his dreams like a dark spirit, and he could feel Seamus there as well, circling the hurt, stroking at his mind with slow fingers. For long moments, Seamus was beside him, and he thrashed out, reaching, to find the bed empty and himself not even certain he'd moved. Perhaps he had dreamt it all.

A glimmer intruded at last, the sallow light of day, or fire. Blaise forced his eyes open once, and then slipped back into sleep. In and out. In and out. Had he left anyone behind in the forest? Had he killed any of his pursuers? He thought he had, but could not remember the spell he'd used, or even the feeling of the wand in his hand. He shouted in his dream, and heard-felt Seamus drifting there, as if tossed by a breeze. In one coherent instant, he wondered at the confusion he must be pushing into his lover's head, wondered if Seamus were not scrabbling for purchase in a miasma that was not really his. His head throbbed dully.

A door clicked open, and suddenly Blaise knew Seamus was there; the sheer presence of the one who shared his bond tore a long furrow through the fog. He rolled dazedly, felt the bed dip, and a warm heat insinuated itself along his back. Seamus' arm came around him, a delicious, steady weight, and Blaise's mind spun free of the chaos. He found energy to find Seamus' fingers, lace his own through them, and then sleep, deep and expansive, took him at last. The passage of time vanished.

His eyes opened on their own. Slowly. Blaise swam up into consciousness as though surfacing from a dark, dank lake. He blinked. Sunlight streamed in milky shafts through the dusty windows. The warmth of the room was almost overwhelming; he knew without thinking that to move would be to become too hot. Blaise inhaled. Exhaled. Became aware of a faint, indefinable ache. He touched his temple with one hand. No longer his head aching. Seamus' arm was a limp, sleepy mass around his middle. He rubbed over his lover's fingers. Seamus did not even twitch.

The heat of their two bodies drifted over him, and somewhere in his brain he felt Seamus reel and drift along with it. Blaise shut his eyes and pressed a hand to his forehead. His stomach roiled with the odd sensation. His throat tasted dry, acrid; he swallowed and leaned backward, longing for the haze of closeness, the slow loss of consciousness that sleep bore.

It was at the exact same instant that he felt the damp cling of the sheets at his back that he realised he hadn’t heard Seamus’ gentle sleeping breaths. A long, uneasy rasp rattled in his ear and the strange indefinable ache blossomed heavily in the pit of his belly. Blaise struggled upright onto his elbows and glanced at Seamus to find dark freckles standing out stark and livid against white… greying skin. Seamus’ eyelids were half closed; the dull sheen of blue irises was barely visible.

“Seamus.” The arm he now clutched lay leaden over his ribs. As he watched, Seamus’ body shivered into another slow rasp. Sallow pits hung under his partially closed eyes, and the faintest glint of red dotted the corner of his mouth. Blaise blinked and looked down at the damp sheets.

Blood. The bedclothes were soaked rust-red with it.

Blaise came fully awake in a sudden, wrenching grind that rolled through him from toes to fingertips. He lurched up, twisting, pulling a muscle in his abdomen painfully, but it hardly registered. “Seamus? Sea—”

There was a wound. In Seamus’ side, seeping a wide patch of crimson across a once-white undershirt. Blaise’s hand shot to Seamus’ hip of its own accord, easing the sodden fabric away. Pressing it back into place, lest a tenuous clot be broken. Muscles shivered once under his fingers, and Seamus’ eyelids fluttered and drifted shut.

“Seamus!”

Blaise jerked the sheet from across his own body, scrunched it in his hand and pressed it to Seamus’ side, hiding the ugly scarlet stain from view. Brown in places— how long had he been bleeding? How fucking long had he, Blaise, been asleep?

The ache intensified abruptly into a harsh burn in his own side, and Blaise moaned out the belated horror of it. He could not breathe properly; his lips struggled to form words, and finally one arrived, laden with a hope that this time, this time, the occupant of the next room was actually there to hear it.

“Draco!”

He lost track of how many times he cried that single name into the still air of the room. He didn’t hear the door open, except that suddenly Draco Malfoy was there at his side, leaning onto the bed and touching the clammy breadth of Seamus’ forehead. Blaise looked up, confused, unable to see anything aside from the shadows pocking Seamus’ face, the widening stains over his own hands. Draco’s cornsilk hair was askew, grey eyes still blurry with sleep, and Blaise snatched his hand and yanked it to where the wound was.

“How long, Blaise? When did he… When did he arrive?”

Blaise shook his head, heard the rattle of Seamus’ breath, and pressed a hand to his own side, unable to see beyond the hot shard of pain there. “Don’t know. Muddled—”

Draco froze, and then Blaise felt hands scrabbling over his own hips, pulling at his shirt. “Blaise. Blaise, are you injured, too?”

“No! Fuck, Draco, no, it’s him, it’s… fucking binding… Can feel it…”

Draco’s hand left him, and Blaise felt Seamus’ body shift. Draco began to mutter. There was a ripping sound, fabric tearing, and a moan that was not Draco’s, nor his own. Blaise started upward, opened his eyes, only to fall back under a wave of dizziness.

“Lacerating hex,” Draco said. His hands probed the wound gently, and more blood oozed forth. His wand waved once and his face twisted. “Not clotting. Fuck.”

Another wave of his wand, far more complicated. Draco slammed his hand down against the mattress and cursed. “Fucking— this is one of hers. Fucking Alecto!”

He yanked Blaise up by the collar of his shirt and shook him once. “Blaise, what did you say about a… binding? Did she bind him?”

“No. Me… we. Draco—”

It might have been realisation dawning on Draco’s face, or new urgency. He let go. “Get your wand.”

Somehow Blaise managed to fight free of the quilts and traverse the room to the bag he’d dropped by the door. He didn’t remember summoning Pomfrey, or the spells Draco recited for him to repeat, or the vague, hurried explanations when the Healer finally hastened into the room. The smell of blood tickled Blaise’s nostrils as if he’d inhaled the liquid. The ache in his side swelled over him until it was all he could feel, and yet it did not fell him. He moved mechanically, seeing bright red and pale white, muted colours that only coalesced into recognisable objects when Seamus was breathing more easily an hour later, Draco perched on the bed trailing his sparking wand back and forth in gentle strokes over the closing wound. Pomfrey spoke in agitated spurts. Words, “Alecto,” “spell,” and “when,” and Draco answered, but Blaise only heard Seamus’ gradually steadying dreams in his ears.

It wasn’t until six nights later, his lover catching his breath heavily in his arms for a different reason, that Blaise thought through his post-coital haze and saw that Seamus should have died. It should be a corpse in his arms. Somehow, Seamus had found his way back to him, and that same, fragile thread between them, the one that had brought him home, had kept him alive for hours when he should have died.

The tears that Seamus wiped carefully from Blaise’s cheeks that night were helpless and unsatisfied by the reality of the man pressed against him. What should have been haunted Blaise’s thoughts like a wraith.

...

Chapter 17

Date: 2007-06-18 11:41 am (UTC)From: (Anonymous)
Oh wow, thank you! I am very anxious to see how this all plays out... I really love your Ginny and how the situation is seen through her eyes.

Date: 2007-07-04 05:49 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
That makes me so happy, you have no idea. Ginny gets the short end of the stick often enough (by me, much of the time! *laughs*) and it's so nice to have you say that you like her in this story.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2007-07-04 05:51 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2007-06-18 01:35 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] pershin.livejournal.com
Damn... I only came to check on how the zombie quiz was coming along and then I saw an update for Road. Now I just had to read it, hoping that I might get some sleep tonight. But no, I don't think I could.

BTW, not enough Blaise and Seamus, though I would still love if there's more HD *lol*

Date: 2007-07-04 05:53 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
Sorry about the wait on the zombie quiz. RL has smacked me upside the head this last week. I'll definitely find the time to get those results up. My goal is by the end of this weekend. (I hope.)

Hahaha, funny you should say that about Blaise and Seamus... Chapter 17 is all about Blaise. Thank you for reading my story!

Date: 2007-06-18 01:38 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] fresica.livejournal.com
I almost wish that there were more on Blaise and Seamus. Almost. Not that we aren't getting wonderful doses of their story, I just love the way that you've crafted their relationship.

Date: 2007-07-04 05:54 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I love Blaise/Seamus. It's one of my HP OTPs. There is more about them coming up. ^__^

Date: 2007-06-18 04:06 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] ura-hd.livejournal.com
Yeah, new chapter!

How did the bond between Blaise and Seamus come about? I know there are snippets here and there and I even reread them through different chapters, but I am still not very clear why this bond happened. I hope that more explanation is coming.

I feel bad for Ginny, but she should give up Harry at this point. Not sense torturing herself.

Date: 2007-07-04 05:56 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
I think you get a pretty good taste of the hows and whys in chapter... 4, if I remember correctly. But to sum it up, they aren't exactly sure how it started, just that it came on gradually and, after a while, inescapably. The bonding process itself is meant to be vague, as it is the same bond that Harry will have to go through, so I intend to answer questions a little bit later.

Thank you for reading!

Date: 2007-06-18 05:13 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] owens-mom.livejournal.com
I found myself smiling and taking a deep and sorely needed breath after I finished this.

If the passages with Ginny weren't wonderful enough - her fragile hopes and her realizations and her slow unravel - seeing this between Blaise and Seamus was magic. Blaise succumbing to sleep when Seamus arrives, the blood and Draco and the bond, and realizing Seamus should have died but he didn't. And again, I'm smiling.

Date: 2007-07-04 05:58 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
Heh, I hope you are STILL smiling after the next chapter... O.o

Thank you so much! I have had a wonderful time crafting the Seamus/Blaise in this fic. I've decided that I don't write them nearly enough, so this has been a nice treat for me. I'm so happy you are enjoying the pairing. ^_^

Date: 2007-06-18 06:04 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] bayb43.livejournal.com
Yay! I wasn't even expecting an update yet, what a perfect surprise. So Ginny has finally made the realization that there is, indubitably, something going on between Harry and Draco. Now what will they do? I can't imagine exactly what was going through either of their minds that moment on the stairs. I hope Harry won't try to give Draco up, I don't think either of them could bear it if they tried.

Also, glad to see more of Blaise and Seamus. We still don't know too much about their bond and their relationship, but it seems about as deep as the HD relationship even if it seems to have moved at a faster pace. I like hearing about them...of course, HD is always my number one concern:) Nice chapter, as per usual. Can't wait for more:)

Date: 2007-07-04 06:10 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
I think it would be incredibly hard for Harry and Draco to give each other up now that they've had each other to the full extent possible (as far as they know). Draco thought somewhere in his poor, tormented brain that experiencing what he'd been craving would dampen it a little afterward, but he's obviously wrong about that. ^_~

Remember that Blaise and Seamus' bond started a while back. It took a while to fully form, and they've already had the full bond for some months. But you are right: it is definitely meant to parallel Harry's future bond in some respects. Thanks for reading!

Date: 2007-06-18 06:19 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] thrnbrooke.livejournal.com
Holy moly! Seamus and Blaise are bonded? I hope they are reunited. What is Ginny going to do? What is Harry going to do? Why does the spell call for one of the girls? Did anyone try for another? Soooo need more!

Date: 2007-07-04 06:12 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
Ahaha! How did you miss the S/B bond? *hugs* Yeah, chapter 4 goes into the most detail about their situation.

And do you REALLY want me to answer those questions? *giggles* Spoilery they are, young jedi...

Date: 2007-07-04 06:17 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] thrnbrooke.livejournal.com
You know I am very impatient! Need answers!!!! Gotta have more story!

Date: 2007-06-18 07:16 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] twig-tea.livejournal.com
What this makes me wonder most is why Blaise and Seamus couldn't hold hands in front of Draco. Did it have something to do with him losing Nott? Or has he taken his feelings about the future Ginny/Harry bond out on the Blaise/Seamus bond? *ponders*

I can't believe Harry said that last chapter. It still makes me shake my head. Of all the things he could have said... I hate how much they're hurting unnecessarily. Those boys are always so terrible at communication.

The bond between Blaise/Seamus happened so suddenly and without their intention, it makes me wonder if something similar will happen with Harry/Draco, since I can't see Harry openly disappointing Ginny without a good reason (like a pre-exisiting bond), or unless he finds out Draco loves him, and I can't see Draco telling him. Their only hope seems to be an accidental bonding, or Ginny setting them right.

Poor Gin. You're story's given me more sympathy for her than I usually have, though I like how selfish you made her introspection in the previous chapters. I think she does feel entitlement to Harry because she's loved him so long, no matter how silly that is.

Hi by the way, just added you the other day after reading all your stories (and consequently reading most of hd_365 too XD). I really love your body of work!

Date: 2007-07-04 06:50 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
Right on the money: Blaise and Seamus did not want to broadcast their relationship in front of Draco, who has obviously known about their couple-dom for some time, but who had also just lost his lover. It's Blaise and Seamus being thoughtful, trying not to rub things in and make it harder on Draco. Little do they know...

And no one knows about the bond between Blaise and Seamus... except Blaise and Seamus. ^_~

Harry's a dork, I'm afraid. He's trying not to presume too much, and while doing so, he's completely blinded himself to the real issues, as usual. I love that they don't communicate properly ever. It's such a corner-stone of the pairing in fandom. *laughs*

Thank you for friending me and for reading my work! *waves* Welcome to my lj. ^__^

Date: 2007-06-18 07:29 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] bluelittlepig.livejournal.com
I always like seeing a relationship from other people's perspective because it's something that we rarely do in life. It's interesting what other can or cannot see. In other words, I like getting Ginny's POV because her POV is important as well since she is part of the triangle. I really feel for Ginny because it hurts and frankly it sucks for her. She's still hoping for that happy ending even when she sees that it's not going to happen for her with Harry. Awww. I just want to give her a hug.

I just want more of Blaise/Seamus relationship!!!

Date: 2007-07-04 06:52 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
You have totally got Ginny pegged, Grape. She's going to be in for some disappointments. I think it might be a natural reflex, to hope for a fantasy in the midst of such a horrible situation. I really do feel for her as well.

Haha, I will see what I can do about Blaise and Seamus.

Date: 2007-06-18 08:36 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] rumpelgeist.livejournal.com
It is very skillful, the way you here use Ginny. She is a tentative and potential obstacle (one of many) and yet you manage to portray her in sympathetic light.

I feel conflicted about Harry, perhaps because he reminds me of Clive Durham from EM Foster's Maurice. I do not know exactly if he is behaving dishonestly or doesn't know himself at all.

Date: 2007-07-04 06:54 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
Oh wow, someone else who has seen Maurice! *loves* I assume you are talking about Hugh Grant's character... (I'm a little rusty on my character names in that movie). Yeah, he had a tragic story there, didn't he? And I think you got him exactly right. I find it to be a very interesting comparison, him and Harry.

Date: 2007-07-04 10:06 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] rumpelgeist.livejournal.com
Oh Yes I love watching the movies for books I have read and I did enjoy the film v. much because it reminded me of the Remains of the Day/Room with a view except that it was with two men (then three) at the center of it. I like movies like that where they show the little tragedies of every day life. I would say "Opera of the Mundane" but then I'd sound Pretentious and We don't want that. LoL

Harry did remind me of the Hugh Grant character because he is v. driven by what he thinks his duty is. In the case of Hugh's character that meant never consummating his "illicit" love affair and later Choosing to marry a woman, thereby reinforcing his Celibate tendencies through heterosexuality since the audience could tell that he didn't desire her in the v. least. Here Harry feels he must choose between his desires also, and his duty and he almost seems to want to justify his desires through duty, which is why I think he speaks about what Draco has lost.

In a big way, Draco who is much less courageous about his actions is much more courageous about the emotional side than Harry even if he just as terrified of the enormity of what it might Mean. I v. much admire the way you've taken the character of Draco and peeled away the image he had previously tried to present to the world. You've made me Fall in Love with him and I will never read the books in the same way again. What a gift! :^}

Date: 2007-07-06 05:59 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
Heh, I didn't even know Maurice was a book... But now that you say that, actually, it sounds familiar. Was it E.M. Forester? For some reason that name sticks in my mind, but I'm probably way off...

Pretentiousness is fine when you sell it well. ^_~

I felt sorry for Hugh Grant's character at the end of that movie, and I felt doubly sorry for his wife, who seemed like a nice woman who deserved to be happy in life. And it's hard to say that she won't be happy. But knowing what we know, I tend to lean in that direction.

Harry is definitely torn in my fic. I have always thought him to essentially be a loner in canon, even though he has friends, even though he has help. There really is no one else who GETS what he is going through. Dumbledore understood, but only in a detached, outside sort of way. The people who really should get Harry's plight (Hermione, Ron, Ginny), don't get it, though the first two try. They are all so wrapped up in themselves at this point that it is impossible. But that's understandable for teenagers. They shouldn't be forced to be making life-ending decisions at their age. What Harry needs in this case is another person who has faced the same challenges, someone who has a similar enough life to empathize with him. Tom Riddle is right out, of course. Draco, on the other hand... He could do it, especially after book 6. They are both very self-oriented still, but in this case, it does not preclude the understanding they might have of each other. They have a lot in common on a very basic level, especially now, and real understanding comes from that.

Thank you so much for saying why you like Draco in my story. He is probably my favorite character to write in the entire HP fandom, because there are so many directions you can go with him. It means a lot that you like what I'm trying to do with him. And then to say that I have changed the entire way you will read his canon character... WOW. *hugs* Thank you so much! That's a major compliment.

Date: 2007-06-18 08:46 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] prettyhairs.livejournal.com
Yay a new chapter!
As I'm having a seriously crammed week (6 exams in 5 days!) with finals at university and all I haven't read it yet but I'm sure it's great as usual at least^^

I will comment when I've read it^-^

Date: 2007-06-30 10:43 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] prettyhairs.livejournal.com
Sorry for being so whiny^^
I've read it finally and I loved the part of the bond between Seamus and Blaise! And how Blaise turns to Draco for help.
Just generally brilliant chapter as always!

Date: 2007-07-04 06:55 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it, especially the interplay between Draco, Blaise, and Seamus. ♥

Date: 2007-06-18 09:40 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] lucky045.livejournal.com
This story makes me cry. It's lovely but I do so hope for a happy ending.

Wonderful.

Date: 2007-07-04 06:55 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
Thank you for reading it! I will see what I can do.

Date: 2007-06-18 11:40 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] tatiana708.livejournal.com
I feel sorry for Ginny, but then again, I don't. I mean, it's all there in front of her eyes and yet... she's being willfully obstinate. Or maybe fearful? Maybe she feels as if losing Harry would be like losing a part of herself. But how could she interact with Blaise/Seamus and NOT recognize two people who are meant for one another? So I'm putting her in the willfully obstinate category which means I can only feel so much sympathy for her.

And speaking of Blaise/Seamus... OMG!!! I am so in love with them. (Somehow, Seamus had found his way back to him, and that same, fragile thread between them, the one that had brought him home, had kept him alive for hours when he should have died.
)

The action was so encompassing and well-paced that I (almost) didn't miss H/D interaction. Well done!

Date: 2007-07-04 06:58 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
Ginny has always struck me as a very headstrong person. Not given to backing down until she's had her say, maybe more than once. She's stubborn and hard to convince sometimes, but she's also loyal to a fault, and dedicated. And I think it's hard for her to differentiate: "oh, yeah, Blaise and Seamus are totally meant to be together, but Harry has ALWAYS been meant for me, and I'm going to continue to turn a blind eye to it until I can't anymore." So I definitely see where you are coming from. ^_^

Hahaha! I'm so glad you liked the S/B! I love to write those two...

Date: 2007-06-19 03:23 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] ivichsartre.livejournal.com
I love Seamus and Blaise's relationship. They make such a great pair! xD
Need more!

Date: 2007-07-04 06:59 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
Thank you! They are one of my HP OTPs. I love it when I have a chance to write them. ^__^

Date: 2007-06-19 05:11 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] justabi.livejournal.com
Dude. Harry. You suck. *shakes head*

Date: 2007-07-04 07:01 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
*laughs* Awww! *hugs*

Date: 2007-06-22 12:41 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] red-rahl.livejournal.com
Oh, Ru! You already know how I feel about this chapter! It's such an interesting and, dare I say, coy, sidestep after the emotional storm between Harry and Draco. Because we've seen Draco's emotional limits being pushed to the very edge and Harry's fumbling, yet equally intense reactions...and then we get to see Ginny's reaction. Oh, poor girl! I do feel sad for her. Her thoughts are very realistic and very much in character for her, even as they make me cringe a bit.

Again, I think it's interesting how different Harry and Ginny regard physical vs. emotional intimacy. Here's another example of that, that Harry is willing (perhaps he can do nothing but) to have sex with Draco and yet, if my understanding is correct, he is still prepared to go through the binding with Ginny? *mind boggles* Dude, even if I loved the punk, I don't know if I'd want the dude if he pulled something like that in the SAME CASTLE!

And the Seamus/Blaise? Magnificent! You really do make them work together! O love the description of Blaise's thoughts and his feelings and how they were overlapping with Seamus's. And my absolute favorite, favorite part was the idea of Blaise calling out for Draco...and then he appears like BLOOMING BATMAN! So competent and intense and oh, how I loved it! XD

But...that bonding as a thread...*shivers at the foreshadowing*

Date: 2007-07-04 07:07 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
Girl, you already know about my bond foils for Harry. *giggles* I have been directing people to pay special attention to the S/B relationship if they have bond questions, but I LOVE that you are liking the ship! It's one of my faves in the fandom. And it's doubly nice to have you say that Ginny is convincing. ^__^

The war has been changing Harry. I can't really blame him. I mean, he's in a royally sucky situation, and he basically needs to ask someone for this sacrifice, but he just doesn't feel it's his place, or even that he deserves such a thing from anyone. Not Ginny, and least of all Draco. I'd be pissed off at him, in Ginny's place, but he's desperately trying to be everyone's savior, and yet he still wants a chance to be happy. At this point, I think he feels those two concepts negate each other.

I am LOVING writing the Seamus/Blaise in this fic. It's always such a treat when I get to pull that pairing out. Thank you so much!

And yes. Foreshadowing abounds. O.o

Date: 2007-06-23 07:27 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] frances-veritas.livejournal.com
I finally got a chance to read this and I'm glad I waited until I had time to actually read it and absorb it.

Because, MY GOD.

I'm still loving your Ginny. I love how she knows Harry's body language so well. I ache for her. :-( I wonder what more happened between Harry and Draco?

Also, I'm very curious to read more of this in Harry's POV. I know there been chapters with paragraph pieces in his POV, but I wonder if we get to see more of it in regards to the feelings he has for Draco. :-D

I am completely in love with your Blaise and Seamus.

Somehow, Seamus had found his way back to him, and that same, fragile thread between them, the one that had brought him home, had kept him alive for hours when he should have died.

The tears that Seamus wiped carefully from Blaise’s cheeks that night were helpless and unsatisfied by the reality of the man pressed against him. What should have been haunted Blaise’s thoughts like a wraith.


That? Killed me.

I officially love this story more than it's probably appropriate.

Date: 2007-07-04 07:09 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
I love your reviews. You are often the first comment, and I have found myself looking forward to your comments more than I first realized. *laughs and hugs*

And I love that you love my story inappropriately. *snickers*

Date: 2007-06-24 04:04 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] riansage.livejournal.com
I'm curious whether Ginny is as aware of the binding as Draco is. She's looked at it as a way to be with Harry. But has she seen the effects of it on her friends?

Again, I must commend you on making Ginny very human in this. She shows greed in her thoughts that she could have left Draco for dead, but then displays the shame of feeling that way.

I was glad to see you illustrate here what the benefit of this bond will be for Harry. You've told us before how it will strengthen him, but your cleverness here has shown us how.

Date: 2007-07-04 07:14 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
No one knows about Blaise and Seamus' bond. They know about the relationship, but the details have been kept closely under wraps by the two in question, for various reasons. There will be quite a reaction once it gets out...

I like that you commented on Ginny's less-than-kosher thoughts about leaving Draco behind. Draco actually did the same thing in an earlier chapter, and it's been fun to play around with the reality of human thought. Sure, you hate yourself afterward, but sometimes... the bad thoughts just come up.

Thank you for reading!

Date: 2007-07-08 04:31 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] riansage.livejournal.com
Okay. Now that I've re-read that part, I see that Blaise wasn't really too clear when it came to his explanation on binding. And in the rush to heal Seamus, it was brushed aside.

Date: 2007-07-09 07:51 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
Heh, half the time, Blaise and Seamus didn't even have any idea what was going on. And that's going to come back and bite them later, I'm afraid... :( But in the meantime, it's a discovery journey for everyone.

Date: 2007-06-28 02:11 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] get-through.livejournal.com
I have sympathy for Ginny, again, which isn't often. I honestly don't know what she'll do if Harry decides to go back to her--will she send him back to Draco, or have a Harry not wholly hers instead of no Harry at all?

I love how she still has Fred and George, that not every member of the family is dead.

What should have been haunted Blaise's thoughts like a wraith.

The Blaise/Seamus bit at the end is lovely. I love their characterization.


Abiiiiii

Date: 2007-07-04 07:17 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
I am giving nothing away. *loves*

And I love Fred and George. They are so much fun! When they're not being idiots, that is... *laughs*

Thank you for another lovely comment!

Priceless!!!

Date: 2008-01-12 08:17 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rhianon-lewelyn.livejournal.com
I love how Ginny "gets" what's going on between Harry & Draco without assistance. She just knows that they've crossed a line, no words only body motion and eyes telling her what she needs to know.

It is so pissy how she's like "it should have been ME!" when there never was any fire between her & Harry, no enduring spark or verve. Not even in cannon. Suddenness does not profoundness make.

The bond between Blaise & Seamus is highly interesting. Not intended either but forged regardless. It seems that it is something that can't be intentionally created at all, it's either there or it isn't. Therefore, even if Ginny hadn't had Draco physically there to "interfere" it woudn't have worked as Harry simply wasn't "there" to be part of it with her.

The irony is both painful and resoundingly unavoidable.

Love it.

Must read on.

(Freakin' addictive fic, man. FREAKIN' addictive fic.)

{Shivers out in the cold...}

O.o

Re: Priceless!!!

Date: 2008-04-01 05:17 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rurounihime.livejournal.com
But can you really blame Ginny? After all, she's not actively trying to bust them up... She's just hurting inwardly and fuming inwardly. I can totally see myself doing that... But I love your comment "Suddenness does not profoundness make."

The Blaise/Seamus bond is where you will get your clues as far as what to expect from Harry and Draco's bond. :)

Wow, addictive! *happy*

>.<

Date: 2008-04-02 04:43 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] rhianon-lewelyn.livejournal.com
I'm not blaming Ginny! I'm just... blaming Ginny.

(Claps hands over snarky mouth.)

*guilty look*

But that's the essence of really deep unselfish love, loving the person enough that their happiness is what is most important. Loving them for who they are and not for anything they may give you. That is so very rare...

Draco's love in here is so much more, it's utter devotion, absolute trust, bone deep honor. He desired Harry but its not lust its worshipful. Its all consuming.

The kind of love that kills you or inspires really amazing artistic feats. (Breaking inner barriers & all that.)

Woohoo, don't mind my rambling.

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